Why not Minot? Ammo Grrrll asks you to consider the MAYOR OF MINOT ND’S VERY BAD NO GOOD TERRIBLE DAY. She writes:
Don’t get me wrong; I am very fond of Breitbart and usually go there second or third in the morning, after Power Line and Ace of Spades. But the good folks at Breitbart are unusually fond of lurid clickbait stories as well as the unhinged ravings of celebrity has-beens such as Cher or Neil Young. I applaud Breitbart for always finding THE least flattering picture ever taken of these loons. But I hardly ever click to read the entire story. And not just because most of the AI-generated stories seem to be barely literate and unedited.
I simply do not CARE what keffiyeh klown Susan Sarandon (may all her teeth fall out but one and that should ache her), or Robert De Niro, or Bette Midler or Bill Burr have to say about anything. They are – to use a phrase hip perhaps 40 years ago – dead to me.
Sometimes, though, I do fall prey. A few weeks back, one such clickbait story involved the resignation of the Mayor of the small city of Minot, North Dakota. It’s theoretically possible, and I am not inclined to research it, that this town was founded by lost Frenchmen and it should be pronounced Mee-noh. But, in truth, it not only rhymes with “why not” but that became the clever Chamber of Commerce slogan for the town: “Why not Minot?”
Why not, indeed? I suspect that the main reason that many people clicked on the storya was that it alerted readers to the fact that the mayor, a person of the male persuasion, “accidentally” sent the City Attorney a video of himself chokin’ the chicken, and they thought the story might possibly include pictures.
That was surely not MY reason, Heaven forfend! I can spot a column-worthy disaster from 1000 yards and this filled the bill nicely. “So, tell us what happened, Ammo Grrrll, and don’t leave out a single detail,” cried my many fans.
The mayor – no need for names, really, as he has endured quite enough humiliation — and the City Attorney, a woman (whatever that is), had been communicating about a local police officer who had committed suicide. Apparently, Hizzoner the Mayor thought, “You know what would make everybody feel better after such a sad topic? A video of me doin’ the Toobin.”
Because who is not absolutely thrilled to get such a video? Do these wacky or whacky fellas have no sisters, no ex-wives, no real women friends to inform them that this is not something female persons generally enjoy? There’s a lot of goofballs out there, so I hesitate to make sweeping or judgmental statements. To each them’s own, I say woke-ingly.
But speaking for MYSELF and only every woman I know, we would advise that sending flowers or, even better, a large box of chocolates, would be infinitely more appreciated than a picture of your junk, even at rest, to say nothing of actively engaged.
Now in his defense, according to him, the Mayor INTENDED to send it to his girlfriend. (Yes! I know…I was just as surprised as you are to learn that he HAD one…) He realized his horrendous error immediately and contacted the City Attorney and told her he had made a mistake and would she please just immediately delete the text without reading it or opening it. She elected not to do that. In other words, she DELIBERATELY opened the text even after being warned that it would probably not be welcomed.
And then – quelle surprise! – she later charged him with Sexual Harassment. Now, I don’t have all the “he said/she said” involved here, but AS A WOMAN I have to say that if you were warned not to open a creepy video and you DID, that’s on you.
I also do not think – unless this guy had a pattern of naughty jokes and gropey, grabby advances toward this woman – that this one incident should have made him have to fall on his, uh, sword. I mean, apart from bursting out laughing every time she saw him after that, exactly how was the woman harmed? Did she need extensive therapy plus eye bleach to recover from it? I mean, she’s an ATTORNEY for heaven’s sake – they commit far worse acts of unsavory wretchedness every day, especially if they are a District Judge trying to derail an entire Presidency.
But that’s where we are with all the #MeToo nonsense at this late date. Every Strong Independent Woman today is a Tough Girl Boss who can attend an Awards Ceremony wearing a dress so flimsy it could be carried in a Glad Sandwich Bag. She can fling F-bombs and make ludicrous threats to smack politicians over the head. But the sight of one unsolicited creepy selfie can cause her to need a fainting couch? Or money. Or revenge. Please. Not in my name.
On the other hand, uh, I mean taking a different perspective, what in blue blazes was this moron thinking? Now I enjoy the sight of an in-shape shirtless male, or even a male with a handsome face and smiling eyes, as much as the next person. But to me this particular kind of video, does NOT say, “Thinkin’ of you, babe,” as much as it says, “Who needs YOU?”
And where are the countless stories of “sexting” that really worked out great for the sender? If you ask yourself “What could possibly go wrong here?” before you do something, the act of sending a video of yourself engaged in the solo act recommended to at-risk teenagers by President Clinton’s fired Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders would have to elicit a long list of things that could go wrong.
I don’t know a ton about Risk Management, though our favorite astronaut, Captain Jim Wetherbee, has a terrific book on the subject. But this would seem to represent ALL risk for very little possible reward even under ideal circumstances. When my young son would be doing something like, say, tossing a baseball around in the family room which was all picture windows, I used to tell him, “Nothing GOOD can come of that. It MIGHT not turn out bad, but there is not a single good thing that will result.” Boy, did he come to hate that phrase.
In my long and winding employment history I have had to explain away several cavernous gaps in employment, back before “community organizing” was a resume enhancer rather than a debit on your C.V. But at least I never had to say, “I resigned because I sent a naked live action video to the wrong person.” If I were that guy, I think I might have massive plastic surgery, legally change my name if not my sex, and move to Patagonia. Or at least SOUTH Dakota.
