ALMOST every church has one — sometimes coyly labelled “Children’s Corner”, sometimes relying on the diminutive furniture and bright picture books to indicate the purpose of the space. The area is usually tucked away, out of the line of sight of the worship leader and most of the congregation as well. It is where noisy children are hurried off, either by anxious parents feeling the effect of one too many critical pairs of eyes upon them, or at the whispered invitation of a sidesperson trying not to disturb the flow of events.
Too often, these spaces set aside for children are rather dismal affairs: an elderly rug, tiny chairs and table, set around with weary toys and slightly foxed board books with the occasional flap missing.
How do these areas speak to the users about the love and care of God? In what way is the value placed on every member of a church community reflected in the furnishing of this area — and how does it compare with the chancel’s pressed linen, fresh flowers, and gleaming brass? If we are eager to invite and include young families into our church communities, should we not be demonstrating this welcome materially as well as verbally?
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It has been argued that the entire church building is for everyone; that there is no necessity for a special place, set aside for the more unruly members of the community, as the whole people of God should be involved in whatever worship is happening. This view is idealistic to the point of being unrealistic: there will always be services that do not lend themselves to whole-church inclusion. Funerals are a prime example, when it might be important for family members to attend, but appropriate childcare is not available.
In addition, now is probably the time to rethink the potential users of spaces that are distanced from the main action of the church event. Not only restless toddlers and breastfeeding mothers, but also those members of the community who might experience sensory overload during a service, should feel comfortable in retiring to a “calm zone” to regroup, or rest, or simply worship in a way that is helpful to them.
These retreat spaces should be furnished appropriately, with the best that the church community can afford. Safety should naturally be a primary consideration, but not just the physical kind — such as ensuring child-proof fixtures and fittings — but emotional safety as well, perhaps including an open-sided “tented” structure for those who find the large spaces of church threatening.
Other furnishings might include: sufficient storage to enable a clear, welcoming space; comfortable seating for adults as well as children; a range of written material for all reading and comprehension abilities; objects that encourage exploration and reflection, but are also relevant to the main action of the worshipping community.
Although these are “breakout” spaces, they should also offer the opportunity to pray and reflect –— an interactive prayer station or prayer space within the bigger area, with written prayer material for those who can access it. Additional seasonal resources, and simple crafts and activities that relate to the service theme or Bible reference are ideal, but may stretch the ingenuity of volunteers too much: better to keep it simple than offer a quiz on the Prodigal Son at the Christmas Eve service.
We must remember, too, that if your church is open during the day, the retreat space can be a useful resource for visitors and tourists. “Churches are great spaces,” one young father said to me recently. “If we are in town and the weather is not too good, or we need an outing that doesn’t cost anything, or if we are on the brink of a meltdown, we always go in the church. There’s plenty of room to run around, there is usually a children’s corner with toys and a bit of colouring and, if anyone is around, they are always really pleased to see a young family. We might even get some squash and biscuits.”
Another reason (as if you needed one) for keeping churches open during the day, then. Although this particular young man would never think of going to a church service, he is teaching his children that church is a safe space, welcoming if not warm. And, who knows? Maybe children’s Bible stories will strike a chord. Maybe the friendly people sharing the space will invite him to an appropriate event: the potential is there, as these people have crossed the threshold.
The Revd Dr Sally Welch is Vicar of the Kington Group in the diocese of Hereford.
Resources
There are many helpful resources on the web, with ideas from construction companies as well as lower-key helpful hints from children’s ministry websites. A lot of these are aimed at larger, urban churches; the diocesan websites might be more useful if your church is small with few children.
Exeter diocese has a useful set of questions to work through with the PCC when trying to extract funding. After all, what does doing things on the cheap say about how we value children? exeter.anglican.org>children’s-corners DOC
Gloucester diocese has an article on creating spaces for children, and families. gloucester.anglican.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Creating-spaces-for-Children-and-Families.pdf
St Albans diocese offers some thoughtful reflections. stalbanscme.com/2016/02/17/pray-and-play
