There are turtles in Pennsylvania. (I know, big surprise.) One turtle that isn’t found in Pennsylvania, though, is the Red-eared slider, which is a popular pet.
This may explain why a Pennsylvania man was caught by the Transportation Security Agency (TSA) troops at Newark Liberty International Airport, trying to smuggle one of these turtles – in his pants.
A Pennsylvania man who was going through security at a New Jersey airport was found to have a live turtle concealed in his pants, according to the federal Transportation Security Administration.
The turtle was detected Friday after a body scanner alarm went off at Newark Liberty International Airport. A TSA officer then conducted a pat-down on the East Stroudsburg man and determined there was something concealed in the groin area of his pants.
When questioned further, the man reached into his pants and pulled out the turtle, which was about 5 inches (12 centimeters) long and wrapped in a small blue towel. He said it was a red-ear slider turtle, a species that is popular as a pet.
Either this is a man with a serious thing for turtles, or he’s looking for his 15 minutes of shell-ebrity. Because, if he was looking to sneak a pet home, he turtle-y failed. If his affections for testudinae are that serious, though, I think that earlier today, my colleague Mike Miller may have reported on someone that this guy might want to call – that is, if TSA didn’t also confiscate his shell phone.
See Related: Shell-Shocked? Oregon Health Authority Board Advisory Member Identifies As a… Turtle
A TSA rep weighed in:
“We have seen travelers try to conceal knives and other weapons on their person, in their shoes and in their luggage, however I believe this is the first time we have come across someone who was concealing a live animal down the front of his pants,” said Thomas Carter, TSA’s Federal Security Director for New Jersey. “As best as we could tell, the turtle was not harmed by the man’s actions.”
It may be the first time TSA at Newark has found someone with a trouser turtle; they should talk to their colleague in Florida, where they have some experience with people smuggling reptiles. At least this time, in New Jersey, it wasn’t a snake in the man’s pants – and no, I’m not going to make the obvious joke.
See Related: TSA to Passenger: Are Your Pants Full of Snakes or Are You Just Happy to See Us?
I suppose we should shellebrate this guy’s creativity. After all, he may have acted in good faith, just trying to give an innocent animal some shellter. Hopefully TSA considered that possibility before snapping the guy up. It may have been a turtley unjustified bust. But, to be fair, there are rules about such things, and there is also such a thing as modicum of forethought; turtles, after all, have sharp beaks, and even regular turtles, besides the notorious snapping turtles, can deliver a painful bite – and the region in which most guys would describe as in “the front of your pants” isn’t a place where you would want a hard-beaked reptile clamping down.
There is a rumor going around that there was another guy in the security checkpoint line who was smuggling a hare, but he fell asleep and never reached the finish line – er, checkpoint.
I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.
