I have always loved and admired Jay Leno for a number of reasons, but his illustrating what “to love, honor, and cherish in sickness and in health, till death do us part” looks like, is now top of that list. The devotion Leno exhibits for his wife of over 40 years rarely happens in everyday life, let alone Hollywood. In a recent TV interview on “In Depth with Graham Bensinger,” Leno told the journalist:
I always thought: marry the person you wish you could be. If I married another self-centered person who is funny, one of us would die. You know? My wife is… does a lot of charity work and you know, things like that. And it worked out great. I married the person who had the ideals I wish I had.
Jay Leno and his unconditional love for his Mavis is the subject of this week’s Feel-Good Friday.
I am not a live venue person, but there were certain opportunities to see someone live where I am thankful I decided to be a part of the herd. One was seeing Cab Calloway, and the other was attending “The Tonight Show” with Jay Leno. Before the show was taped for that night’s airing, Leno came out to greet the audience and interact with them. Leno is genuinely funny, especially off-the-cuff. Some of the zingers and ad libs he came up with were truly gut-busting.
Leno is also one of the hardest-working people in show business. Even after he was established as the host of “The Tonight Show,” he never stopped doing stand-up, working as many as 200 venues a year on top of the “Tonight Show” residency. After “The Tonight Show” taped (late-afternoon Pacific time), he would hit comedy clubs and venues around Southern California and beyond to try out new material and to connect with his audiences.
Leno also doesn’t just play 1,000-seat venues: he does comedy everywhere from basement clubs in Podunk to state prisons. And if Leno was close to home, he was a man who always went home. Unlike some of his predecessors and peers, there was no hound-dogging, gambling, or midnight rambling. Leno and his wife Mavis were a pair, and Leno was quite happy to be a one-woman man. They have no children, so sometimes Mavis traveled with him; but when she was not with him, Leno made sure he made it home to her and her alone.
Our editor, Becca Lower, used to work in show and tour ticket sales on the Las Vegas Strip. Vegas is less than an hour plane hop from Burbank, so Leno would fly over to do stand-up gigs. Lower had the opportunity to meet Leno as he was walking around the casino floor. She, along with a few others, rushed to greet him, and Leno obliged. He has never been a Hollywood type: no entourage or princely airs; he genuinely likes people, and appreciates his fans. One of the people in the group asked him whether he was hanging out in town after his show, but he told the group, NO. He always flies back home. Decades later, his desire to be with Mavis has taken on pronounced significance. His wife of 45 years is suffering from an advanced form of dementia, and Leno is her primary caregiver.
On Wednesday, Leno did a two-plus hour sit-down with Bensinger, where Leno tells some incredible stories about his father and mother, his upbringing, and how his dyslexia managed to transform his comedy. Leno explained that because of his dyslexia, “I really don’t write anything down. If it’s funny, I remember it.” Leno also revealed the world leaders who told the funniest jokes, and why former president Barack Obama told him to lose his number. But the powerful and poignant moments are the minutes within those two hours where Leno talks about his marriage and relationship with Mavis, and discusses walking with her through the advanced stages of the disease.
The former late-night talk show host was granted a conservatorship over his wife last year due to her dementia diagnosis after he petitioned a Los Angeles court to be her legal care provider.
Leno, 74, admitted that their unique situation has shown him what marriage is truly about.
The comedian noted that he’s enjoying everything that goes along with being his wife’s caregiver, primarily the fact that they get to spend time together.
When asked what he’s learned about himself after assuming this new role, Leno said he’s “never been particularly challenged.”
“I was not in the Army. I didn’t have to shoot anybody,” Leno said on “In Depth with Graham Bensinger.”
“I didn’t have to risk my life when I got married,” he said. “You sort of take a vow… and, ‘Will I live up to this? Or will I be like a sleazy guy if something happens to my wife, I’m out banging the cashier at the mini-mart.’ No, I didn’t.”
He added, “I enjoy the time with my wife. I go home, I cook dinner for her, watch TV, and it’s OK. It’s OK. It’s basically what we did before, except now I have to feed her and do all those things. But, I like it. I like taking care of her.
Now it’s getting dusty in here.
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Leno is still a hard-working man, wanting to ensure Mavis is taken care of both physically and financially. He told Bensinger he still does 175 or so shows a year, along with his podcast: “Jay Leno’s Garage.” As Lower covered, Leno recently lobbied at the California Capitol in support of Senate Bill 712, which would revise the state’s current smog check exemption to cover more classic cars. An example of Leno’s passionate advocacy for his second love: classic automobiles. But as for his first love, Mavis, he does gigs on Friday and Saturday night, and is back home by Sunday. As Leno told Bensinger:
I mean, I’m glad I didn’t cut and run. I’m glad I didn’t run off with some woman half my age or any of that silly nonsense. I would rather be with her than doing something else[…] I think there’s more love now, because, why am I doing this? Well, this is why, obviously.
The full interview with Graham Bensinger is over two hours, but so worth the time. Leno gives the world a window into a man who has remained incredibly curious and passionate about what he does, continues to strive to be shaped for the better, and who is a faithful man in a faithless age.
