Anyone who’s ever listened to Matt Walsh’s podcast or who has seen either of his two hit documentaries knows one thing: he’s a man who built a career on never backing down. Whether he’s being called racist by Media Matters or being attacked on X for his stance on taking sick days, Walsh is known to stick to his guns even when it’s unpopular. But like Achilles and his heel, even Walsh has a weak spot.
The king of stubbornness has officially been bested — by his wife, his kids, and two goats he explicitly did not want. In a turn of events that can only be described as both hilarious and inevitable, the Walsh household has expanded by two goats – Waffles and Oreo – after a relentless campaign instigated by the podcast host’s wife and flawlessly executed by his 5-year-old daughter. After two years of pressure and pleading, the animal lovers won the war.
“For years, my wife has lobbied for a goat. For years, I have said no. I held the line. I was firm. But the pressure campaign went on, unrelenting. She continued with her goat propaganda. She kept developing and honing her pro-goat talking points,” Walsh said. He added, “I had an answer for every argument. But then this past weekend my wife played her final card. She took it all the way. She called in a nuclear strike. She recruited our five-year-old daughter to come plead for the goat.”
On my show today, with a heavy heart, I was forced to cancel my wife
— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) March 25, 2025
These two adorable goats now own Walsh’s backyard, his dignity, and possibly even his soul.
Meet our new goat, Waffles. @MattWalshBlog pic.twitter.com/78xKNfAYEC
— Alissa Walsh (@AlissaWalsh21) March 22, 2025
I have 7 kids now, one bottle feeding. It’s always an adventure, isn’t it @MattWalshBlog? Glad he said yes. Deep down, I think he at least isn’t regretting his decision. I saw the smirk when I brought Waffles out of the car. pic.twitter.com/9Mg5Lz5i8z
— Alissa Walsh (@AlissaWalsh21) March 23, 2025
While the podcaster copes with his new reality, The Candle Club is here to immortalize the goats now screaming in his yard with some exciting new scents.
Waffles, a candle that smells like maple syrup, nutmeg, and buttermilk, is named after the elegant pet goat who, ironically, probably prefers the waffle iron cord over actual breakfast foods.
Also, dropping today: The Other Goat, which is inspired by Oreo, Walsh’s other hooved nemesis. This cookies & cream concoction captures the essence of reluctant goat ownership and the slow realization that, despite everything, you might actually like the goats after all. Dunk memories into your atmosphere with notes of rich dark chocolate, vanilla bean, and honeycomb, reminiscent of the G.O.A.T. cookie for milk.
It’s not kind to enjoy someone else’s pain – unless it smells as delicious as these American-made, natural soy wax candles. So while Walsh is adapting to the hobby farm life, you can sit back, light a candle, and bask in the comforting glow of knowing that no man is truly safe from a wife on a (goat) mission.
